Week 9 and the chaos that is my life

Yes I’m still doing The Artist’s Way.

I’ve not been writing about it cuz it’s not been helpful for the last few weeks.  I’ve already accomplished what it’s saying I should do.  I still do my morning pages (tho as bedtime pages).  I’ve been missing sat nights lately (DH being around distracts me) but I do them  the rest of the week.  I’ve had to shorten them more often than not lately, cuz they’ve not been useful but just make me more anxious.

DH and I have been in the process of getting a loan to buy a house since January.  We have no credit (literally) so we’ve had to manually collect and then submit reports from our creditors.  Our loan person took her sweet time getting these reports sent out and of course the companies took their sweet time returning them.  Last week, we got the news that our landlady wants to put the house up for sale as soon as our lease is up.  That’s in 2 months.  We’d been thinking we had some leeway in when we had to move out (we’re friends with our landlady and she’s always willing to work things out with us).  Now, there is no leeway, she needs us out so she can get the house ready for sale.  This sent me into a huge panic last week.  So my morning pages were just endless worrying about all we have to do and it just made me more anxious about the whole thing rather than making me feel better.  We’ve taken some steps to resolve some of the issues and I’m feeling better about it now.

But this also puts a monkey wrench into any creative plans I may have had.  I need to pack and clean as well as finalize loan related things and find a house to buy.  My work desk will be one of the last things I pack and I will take a few hours here and there to create if inspiration strikes but overall, I’ll be doing very little on the creative side.  I may even close my Ebay store for a week or 2 at the height of all this.

All of this doesn’t leave much time for The Artist’s Way.  I’ll continue with it and in all likelihood I’ll keep coming up on the fact that I’ve already accomplished most of it but even if I havn’t accomplished it, I won’t have much time to devote to trying to do it.  The one thing I won’t stop is the morning pages.  They are helpful, most of the time, and will certainly help me work thru the stress this whole situation will certainly cause me.

On one hand, I’m happy to finally be buying a house and have a place where I can do anything I want (including paint the walls purple with pink polka dots if I want to).  But the responsibilities of it scare the crap out of me.  I also despise packing and moving.  Thankfully my parents are letting us use one of their spare rooms as storage, otherwise I’d be in real trouble.  This is a one bedroom apartment, I simply don’t have room for all the boxes I’ll be packing.  Heck, there’s not even room for all the stuff we own.  So by taking the boxes over to their house once a week, I’ll have room to continue packing and eventually, this place will stop looking like a storage shed and more like a place to live.  (we’ve got to do something about our packrat tendancies lol)

So that’s what’s going on with me.  I expect posting here will become rare as well for the next few months as well.

Published in: on March 24, 2008 at 9:03 am  Leave a Comment  

A surprising bit of creativity

Perhaps The Artist’s Way is working after all.

I finally got a sign of returning creativity last night in the form of some interesting dreams.  I was doing my morning pages (which are bedtime pages for me) and one snippet of dream inspired to me to write a story.  I’m really not a writer.  I’ve dabbled in it but can’t stick with it long enough to write a long story. 

Everything I’ve read has said to follow those impulses while doing the pages so after 1 page of normal writing I launched into 6 pages of story.  It’s not done, but it’s at a good breaking point and I need to figure out the rest anyway.  It’s a fanfic style story and not appropriate for a family friendly venue such as this.  Actually, I’m not sure there is a place for it as I’ve never found any fanfic for the starring character.  Don’t know that I want to share it anyway.

So anyway, I find it interesting that I’ve been inspired to write instead of my usual methods of creativity.  I’ll go with it for as long as it lasts and see where it leads me.  Who knows, maybe I can be a fiction writer as well.

Published in: on February 24, 2008 at 11:41 pm  Leave a Comment  

week 4 – day 4

I know I said I was gonna clean today but I really don’t feel like it.  Dealing with this laundry is too tiring all by itself.  I have to carry the baskets of dirty clothes down one flight of stairs, around the house outside (and it’s about 20 degrees out there) and down another flight of stairs to the washer in the basement.  And then reverse the trip to carry the basket of wet clothes back up to the kitchen where the dryer is.  And it’s more trips up with the heavy wet clothes than down with the lighter dry but dirty clothes.

In between loads of laundry I’m calling today my artist’s date day.  I’ve been kicking around an idea of dying pieces of lace with Pinata inks (and whatever else looks appropriate from my paint and ink drawer).  I’m going to put on some rubber gloves and play around with this idea.  I’ve got oodles of lace to mess with so this should be fun.

Published in: on February 22, 2008 at 12:08 pm  Leave a Comment  

Week 4 – day 3

And my willpower slips further.  After supper I finished the chapter of the fanfic I started during supper.  My justification is that I wasn’t going to be doing anything else productive during that time period anyway.  Which is true, but still, I shouldn’t have done it.  I’ll keep trying.  Perhaps I’ll forgo reading tonight in exchange.  I’ll see how bored I get.

I did get all of what I wanted to get done today accomplished along with organizing the hallway and back closet.  (We live in a 1 bedroom apartment and we’ve got enough stuff to fill a 3 bedroom.  That hallway is partially storage.)  I added at least 2 loads of laundry to the normal amount.  I’m going to have to start that almost as soon as I get up in order to get it all done and dry.  Trashed a lot of stuff too.  They were some boxes in that closet from when we moved in here – 2 and half years ago.

Speaking of trashing, I came upon a failed sculpture from about 4 years ago.  Didn’t use an armature like I should of.  I’m trying to figure out why I’m keeping it.  I spose part of it is that I put a lot of work and clay into it and I hate to see that go to waste by trashing it.  On the other hand, I’ll never sell or display it so it’s wasted anyway just taking up room in a closet.  Perhaps I’ll photo it and trash it, so I’ll have a record of what NOT to do.

So besides laundry, what should I do tomorrow?  I can clean the rest of the kitchen, the rest of the bedroom and the rest of the living room (at least til I get to the part that is DH’s space.  I don’t mess with his stuff and he doesn’t mess with mine.)

Saturday I’ll spend at Mom and Dad’s helping Dad with his Ebay store.  Sunday is our day of rest (Which means football when it’s in season and lazing around doing nothing when it’s not.)  Monday is the start of my Artist’s way week so I’ll be able to drop the reading ban.  If I’ve not finished the cleaning by then, I’ll finish it Monday and put off starting the week til the evening.

Published in: on February 21, 2008 at 9:30 pm  Leave a Comment  

Week 4 – day 2

I’ve caved a bit on the no fanfic rule.  Now it’s only during meals and after 10pm.

It’s counter-productive to deprive myself of reading at these times.  I’m not going to do anything other than waste time playing games after 10 pm.  And it’s not like I’m going to be creating while eating.  And by allowing myself these bits of reading, it’s easier to forgo it at other times.

Sticking to not reading during the day tho and I’m being very productive.  Washed dishes today.  Yes, all day.  You see, DH is the dishwasher here and since he’s been sick, dishes didn’t get washed.  I think we used nearly every dish we own.  They’re all clean now and put away.

Tomorrow I’m tackling the bathroom with the shop vac.  Seems odd, right?  Cat’s litter box is in there and he scatters the litter everywhere.  Sweeping just doesn’t get it all.  So I’m going to vac all the corners and edges and behind the tub.  After that it’s the corner of the bedroom.  Our bedroom is L shaped with the bed in the larger leg.  The other leg is where stuff gets tossed to get it out of the way.  I’m going to get in there and organize it.  Friday is laundry day so the timing is good in case I find long lost clothing over there.

 I get the intention behind the reading ban and it is getting me up off my butt to do things instead of sitting here reading all day.  But it’s not very effective for my creativity.  I’ve been known to forgo reading and all else when the creative muse is in the mood.  I’m just not feeling creative this week.  I dunno, maybe I’ll feel more creative once I’ve gotten this cleaning out of the way.  I may keep up the daytime reading ban beyond this week until I’ve finished the cleaning at least.

I have noticed that my creativity goes in cycles.  I’ve got ideas and inspiration for a few weeks and then nothing for a week or 2.  Maybe this week has just coincided with a nothing week.

Published in: on February 20, 2008 at 10:31 pm  Leave a Comment  

Week 4

This is by far the hardest week so far.

No reading.  I almost tossed the book right there when I read that.  Reading is like breathing to me.  I learned when I was very young and I’ve never stopped.  I read all the time.  These days it’s mostly fanfiction.  I read when I eat, always have, cept for family dinners.  I read to wake up in the morning and to get ready for bed.  And I read to pass time during the day.

No reading – that’s impossible.  So I broke it down.  I decided to give up fanfic for the week.  I’m also giving up checking stats here and on my website.  I’m limiting reading news to just a skim of them in the morning.  I’m trying not to read my Ebay groups – failed on that one several times today but at least I’m not sitting on the page refreshing every 15 minutes.

I’m NOT giving up reading email – I need to do that to keep up with sales.  I’m not giving up reading blogs – I need something to read while eating.

I refuse to watch TV more than usual to fill the gap.  Music has always been something I play in the background.  I’m playing more on Pogo and another online game that doesn’t require reading.

I actually got up off my butt and cleaned today.  I can only play the games so long before needing a break.  House should be pretty clean by the end of this week.

It’s funny how the instant I decided to give up fanfic I wanted nothing more than to read it.  It’s been almost 24 hours and I’m craving it.

Today wasn’t too bad, til now.  I can’t really clean now.  Dh’s trying to sleep so I have to be quiet.  I’m kinda sick of the games, at least for today.  I’m caught up on my blogs.  I don’t know what to do.

I spose I can use the stumbleupon toolbar and browse photos.  I could pull out the book and work on the tasks for this week.  I could throw in a movie.  I have a macrame project I could work on.  I have a box of things to sand.

I guess I can think of things to do.  I just need to pick one and do it.

Expect to see me post a lot this week.  It’s one of those things I can do instead of reading.

Published in: on February 19, 2008 at 9:25 pm  Leave a Comment  

Just rambling

I’ve decided it’s time (long past time, actually) to revamp my website.  It’s outdated and not very useful.  I’ll have links to the assorted sites I have things for sale as well as beads that will be only available on that site.  Hopefully I’ll have it up and running by next week.

Morning pages – no responses from you guys but upon reading some other blogs where people are doing The Artist’s Way I’ve decided it’s ok to make them bedtime pages.  I’ll start that tonight.  Feels kinda weird to not do them this morning tho.

I have my first molded mannequin nearly done (ready to be dressed).  I’ll show it once I’m satisfied.

I’ve discovered that I need tougher skin to work with hemp on a regular basis.  I have no idea how DH can tie it for hours.  20 minutes working on my “top secret” idea and I got a huge blister on one finger, a smaller one on another finger and several sore spots.

Published in: on February 12, 2008 at 10:09 am  Leave a Comment  

Morning pages

I’d like some opinions on this.

I’m thinking of making my morning pages into bedtime pages.

I understand the purpose of doing them in the morning – to drain the mundane out of your head so you’re free to be creative.  I struggle to find things to write.  I’m not a morning person.  I have no thoughts whatsoever til I’ve been up for a few hours.  I’ve already delayed writing til I’ve been up nearly an hour.  I write things like “My back hurts.”  and complain about the weather “It’s cold.”  “It’s snowing AGAIN.”  and list things things I need to do that day and sometimes work out some creative ideas.  But mostly I just complain about how much more space I have to fill to reach 3 pages.  A few times I’ve even shortened it to 2 pages.  I just want to get on with my day and do those things on my to-do list, especially if they’re mundane tasks (laundry, shovel snow, etc), so that I can get to doing the things I want to do (ie, the creative, fun stuff).

I have trouble falling asleep at night.  It takes 30 minutes to an hour and sometimes more for me to fall asleep.  My brain must process all the events and conversations of the day.  I’m thinking if I do the morning pages at night, just before bed, I can drain all that crap out, fall asleep faster and maybe sleep better, in turn making me more rested in the morning and better able to create.  And maybe I can purge that damn recurring dream I have.

Content changes but the main theme of the dream is the inability to accomplish whatever it is I have to do.  For example, I need to go somewhere.  First I have to get dressed and I can’t find or choose what I want to wear.  Then I need to gather the things I need to take with me and I can’t find an essential item.  Or I can’t fit all the items into my bag (it’s like they’re multiplying or growing in size as I’m packing the bag).

I figure this dream has something to do with the fact that I’m trying to do too much in my waking life.  I’m working on cutting things back or out so I’m not so overwhelmed.

 I digress.  I just think that doing the pages before bed would be more useful to me.  What do you think?  Leave me a comment with your opinion.

Published in: on February 10, 2008 at 10:21 pm  Leave a Comment  

Week 2

I’m sure you’re asking what happened to week 1.  I skipped it.  As much and as hard as I could think I just couldn’t come up with anyone negative, at least that I could remember in enough detail to say it bothered me.  I’ve already dismissed all past negativity so it has no effect on me anymore.

So week 2.  One of the tasks is listing jobs you’d like to have.  One of mine is clothing design.  I’ve been thinking on this all day.  Way back in my senior year of high school my art class was sort of freeform with one of the best art teachers EVER, Mrs. J.  One of the things we dabbled in was costume design on a doll.  I vaguely remember my doll.  Unfortunately I have no pics nor can I find it.  From what I can remember it was dressed kinda in cross between Victorian and Moulin Rouge.  Red satin and black lace with a hoop under the skirt and a stomacher.  What I can’t remember is what the face and arms were made of (tho I’m sure they were scary considering my lack of sculpting skills lol).

So I’m thinking today on how I could dabble in that kind of clothing design today.  Ok, so I could sculpt a head and arms and even a body but that takes too long and as I said before, my sculpting skills suck.  I don’t have molds for said body parts.  Hmm, I can sculpt a decent female body, if it’s not detailed.  So maybe I could make headless and armless mannequins and then dress those.

Or maybe I should buy old Barbies at the thrift stores and behead and dismember them and use those.  Both could work (could even mold the dismembered parts) but the former is more achievable at the moment (gotta talk DH into taking me to the thrift stores).  I’ve got some fabric scraps around here somewhere.  Any sewing is an issue since I don’t have a machine but I could save any sewing bits for when I visit Mom and Dad or hand sew them.  I’d prefer to glue as much as possible.

Ok, pretty well solved that issue.

I also thought of making hats for the sculptures (if I went ahead and made heads).  The type that had veils or could be tipped over the face to hide it.  Then I thought about making hats of polyclay as pendants.  I may play with that idea.

And there’s also the idea of using polyclay to make the clothes.

 I would dearly love to make the exquisite and delicate featured fairies, etc I’ve seen made from polyclay.  And maybe someday I will.  But right now that’s beyond my skills.  The ideas in this post, tho, are within my skills and may help me improve my sculpting skills so that one day I can make a beautiful fairy.  And they would feed my wish to design clothing.

Published in: on February 7, 2008 at 4:12 pm  Leave a Comment